I’m flying somewhere over the Midwest and the sun has set and below me there are thousands of human bug crawlers on their way home to the hive and I’m way up in the middle of the air coasting along on a jetliner going five million miles an hour as we slam through clouds and right beyond the frame of the plane is 30,000 feet to death and sometimes when the cabin shakes I can feel that faraway feeling of doom creep its way past my eyes and down my spine and I think ‘Man all I want to do is land and become one of those bugs down there again and leave the flying up to people with real dreams and real lives so maybe they can be close enough to taste the intangible’ but there’s still two hours left on the flight so I tighten my belt and sink way way down into my seat and close my eyes and think of terra firma and gravity and simplicity but then the turbulence jerks me out of my halfwit delirium and back into shell of a metal bird zooming and zooming and falling and falling and I’m grabbing the armrests and closing my eyes and waiting for my curtain to close but then it’s over and the bird levels out and my heart starts again and I’m somewhere over the Midwest and the sun has set.
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OK...so, it's official. I don't care for the no punctuation style of writing. While I think it was an interesting effort the first time around, this time, not so much. I find it too distracting. You tell good stories. Focus on that, and not on the quirky style.
ReplyDeleteI personally beg to differ. Although I can reason with the impression that the style is trying too hard at times or that it is distracting from the point of the story, it adds an interesting element. I enjoyed the endless flow and lack of periods. I'm not sure if this was intentional but the rhythm you created worked well with the plot--the anxiousness, the setting, the flow of thought of the character. Well done!
ReplyDeleteI love train of thought writing just because the grammatical structure doesn't distract from the creation. I would agree that you have stronger works that are more organized and punctuated but these pieces have a life of their own and you shouldn't abandon them. I drew a picture to go with this by the way- just a little design but it shows the words were at the very least strong enough for an artist :)
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