Fear sat cold and heavy in our stomachs as we blindly stumbled forward through the thorn filled brush. We were lost, clueless, suffering in an uncharted territory with no visible way out. I could hear Jessica breathing and Dave was silent as we slowly trudged the thicket. Jessica whispered that she had lost a shoe and I told her to keep her voice down. We were heading deeper into the abyss, far away from the dark and now silent house, far away from the booze, from the incrimination, from three other friends. We were heading into the unknown to escape possibility and chance.
A flashlight cut through the darkness and I crouched low away from its beam. It disappeared and my pulse returned, quicker than before. I felt Jessica nudge my back. Keep going, she whispered, keep going. I began to creep, keeping my body as low as possible. I felt cold, skinny fingers on my wrist. Stephen, grab my hand, I don’t want to lose you. It was Jessica. I whispered, low and hoarse, Where’s Dave? She told me she had his hand, it was alright, just keep going. I kept crawling low. The house behind us was being swallowed up in the inky blackness. It was silent. What was happening in there? Did the cops bust it? My thoughts turned to my friends who had accidentally been left behind in the escape. I could only hope they made it out.
The house erupted in noise. Human cries of defiance split the night in two. I felt Jessica’s hand tighten. We were lost in the woods, in the black, and just behind us the world seemed to be coming to an end.
~
It was Thursday night, my roommate Dave and I were sitting in our room, knocking our heads against the wall in boredom. Outside cars were rushing by, our lives following close behind. We had been at college for a month, and every night had been spent as if we were living off balance on a razor‘s edge. One false step would cut deep, so we stayed in, away from the mysteries of the night, away from the danger and risk that crawled outside our darkened room. We barricaded ourselves behind a wall, homework in hand and boredom, like worms, eating at our insides. Tonight felt different though, the worms had eaten their fill and it was time to fill the void with some sin.
A fraternity seemed like the way to get our hands on some fun, so we decided that tonight, Thursday, was the night to go searching like two good ol’ boys with little regard for safety or sanity. Dave and I were ignorant on the subject of Greek life, so we went about gathering our gang. Our neighbor Jack was excited by the idea and asked if he could tag along. We responded in classic cliché fashion: Sure, the more the merrier Jack, we’d be honored to have you. But tell us Jack, do you know how we are going to get in to one of the ragers? He shook his head and we shrugged our shoulders. The night was beginning to mature rapidly and we had no idea how to get in, so we tracked down some friends of ours to ask them how they had managed the seemingly impossible.
Donna had some ideas. She told us our gender was our biggest drawback, that we would need girls. At least three each, any less than that and we’d be thrown out on our asses. We weren’t happy to hear this. Nine girls was not only a stretch, it was also testing our morals. We were looking to get twisted and ripped, but we drew the line when the entrance fee was human. Her brow furrowed in thought as she thought of an alternate route that involved less human objectification. Well there is always the fire escape, she told us. I laughed, thinking she was joking, but her face remained deadpan, her voice monotone. My laughter trickled into nervous bubbling. Dave asked her to repeat herself. The fire escape, she echoed, you sneak up the side and have someone inside let you in. Once you’re inside, who’s to be the wiser?
The three of us looked at each other and knew instantly that this was right out of the question. We may be young and invincible, but nothing does a better job at shaking that resolve than an alcohol fueled punch to six years worth of orthodontia and seven stitches up the side of your face. We needed another way, and we needed another way as soon as possible. The night was getting tired, and we all could feel it way deep down.
Another way fell into our laps in the form of two of Jack’s friends. The two gals, Lisa and Sara, knew just the place to go for a good time in the wee hours of Friday morning. It wasn’t a frat, but it had liquor and strangers. We didn’t ask questions, gave ourselves over to fate, and headed out. I called up an old friend of mine; a short brunette called Jessica, and asked her if she wanted to join us for a jaunt downtown. Her reservations were brief and quickly quashed. We met up and headed off, Sara leading the way. The walk was longer than it should have been as we took every wrong turn we could think to take, but we didn’t care; we were lost in the comfort of friends, and swallowed by the quiet night.
We walked for what seemed like a lifetime, passing every poor, lowdown, drunk bastard on our way towards the quintessential college experience. We eventually found our way to our destination, and I felt more than a little nervous. Off in the distance we heard the dull echo of excitement and inebriation. The woods shot up like knowing, spiteful parents glaring down at their young spawn about to run off and ruin a perfectly good batch of innocence. We neared a house where, entombed within its thin wooden walls, lay the object of our desperate adventure. We were stopped at the entrance by a gang of partygoers, the head honchos it seemed. They told us to turn around, it was full up, that there was no way we were getting in. One guy took a pull off a bottle of tequila, grinned, and told the girls they could go in if they wanted. Our spirits deflated. All the excitement, the anxiety, everything was a bust. I felt detached from it all. I was emotionally gonzo and physically drained. But then hope came blaring through the Novocain haze as one of the bigwigs eyed Jack’s tie. He motioned to him, Hey man…nice tie…listen, he hiccupped, you let me…wear that thing…and you guys can go on ahead in….all of ya.
Jack was reluctant to part with the small strip of fabric, but once all eyes turned to look at him, pleading, he slipped it off and passed it over. The gatekeeper slipped it over his head, pulled it snug and smiled. Go on in guys, have a good time.
We were in. The place was packed, wall to wall carpeting of drunken college students, and us, trapped in the middle of the maelstrom. Lisa and Sara took off towards where they thought the beer was, so I dropped my shoulder and muscled through the crowd, past the sweat drenched partiers, past the liquored up gals in skirts smaller than a thong, and into the Mecca of the house; the beer room. Sara and Lisa jumped into the line, anticipation painted across their faces as they anxiously looked to the front of the line.
Jessica popped up by my side, two beers and a grin spread across her face. She clenched a can of beer in her hand and she pointed it out to me like a proud mother. A friend from one of my classes just gave it to me! Her excitement was infectious, and I watched as she popped the top and took a swig. Try some. I told her I’d love to, grabbed the can from her and took my first drink of college freedom.
The door burst open and a heavily built man in a tight white shirt screamed: Everybody shut the fuck up! The cops are here! Shut up!
Just like that we were moving, out the back door and into the blackness. I looked for my friends and saw Dave and Jessica. It was time to fly, so we put our heads down and crashed headfirst into the inky dark.
`
The world was ending. The screaming from the house was sending chills down my spine. I braced myself for the inevitable meteors and hellfire. I was jolted out of my doomsday attitude by the buzzing of my cell phone. I flipped it open and saw Jack’s name printed in cartoonish letters across its screen. O sweet angels bless you! I read the text, my spirits rising and my displaced fear ebbing slowly. He was fine. Everything was fine. He wanted us to come back inside. I let Jessica and Dave know what I had just received and we headed back, embarrassment lying heavy on our backs. We found him just where we left him, in the beer room with Sara and Lisa. I asked him what had happened. He scratched his head. I’m not sure. See, we were following you guys out when we got cut off. Someone told us to go back inside and to shut up. The lights went off and we stood there stock still until the cops left. We laughed, Sara and Lisa jumped back in line and we settled to the back of the room. I looked around the packed room, my eyes passing over faces I had never seen and would never see, again. They were all happy, drunk, everything creating bliss.
I began to realize why parties happen, why booze is such a prevalent part of college life. In the day we are all the same, the sunlight shines down on our tired frames as we shuffle between one class to another, wearing our everyday, normal crowd pleasing masks. But then the night rolls in and the fog of surreal living creeps into our minds. We turn out in troves onto beer lubricated streets and lose ourselves in the moment, if only for one night. The whiskey, beer, whatever, lets us escape the monotony, the driving, painful torment of living in a harsh and confusing landscape. These years define who we are, and I for one would hate to live in a world where everyone wore the same face day in and day out in quiet acceptance of the mundane and inevitable.
Sara and Lisa came back. The keg was kicked; there was no point in being here anymore. We grabbed Jack’s tie and left the party. Jessica complained that the night, while interesting, hadn’t been a very good one. I smiled to myself, and breathed in the night.
I like this as much as when I first read it however I would have rather seen your other piece despite your distaste for it.
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